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QUOTE COLLECTIBLE
“Life is a long lesson in humility.”
- JAMES M. BARRIE
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“Van Mom Strikes Again” debuted on March 22, 2007 in the northwest suburbs of Chicago. Below are two excerpts.
THURSDAY 6/28/07 | THE PIONEER PRESS, "THE SCHAUMBURG REVIEW"
Mom's the Beast… Er, The Best.
Surrounded by a male household, including the dog, I lift two soft robes from boxes.
My husband nods toward my oldest. “We used him as an approximate size model.”
No doubt that's a future discussion my son will have with his therapist. Neither of my boys will approach anything pink, purple or girly. Nothing remotely mermaid-y. To get my son to try these on, my husband had to evacuate the store, remove security cameras and threaten three teens wielding Kodak disposables. He even told Annie Leibovitz and her “Vanity Fair” crew to take a hike.
THURSDAY, 7/12/07 | THE PIONEER PRESS, "THE SCHAUMBURG REVIEW"
Clutteroholic nests deep in shamble chic
The clutter got so bad that a pawn dealer set up a storefront on our porch.
Myrna Neatnik, the clutter expert from “Eyesore No More,” arrives in a van with a giant logo of a bloodshot eye being poked by a broken chair.
She greets me in our living room, the Thunderdome cage. Recyclables have been claimed by the dog as his newest chewy. Visitors assume the blue recliner went through a wood chipper, but no, just my sons' teeth. My youngest's 2004 climb to the summit of the sheers ended with a torn hem. HGTV hosts would oooh and ahhhh and dub this “shabby chic.” More like shamble chic.
Myrna inspects the upstairs. "Were Thing 1 and Thing 2 here?"
Ah, yes. “The Cat in the Hat” critters.
“Son One and Son Two,” I say.
“Two children did all that?”
“You should see downstairs.”